How I met my father

At 27 years old, and after blaming my bad luck in love on the "daddy issues" of girls like me who grew up without a father, I decided to search for this man who had been a question mark in my life for a long time.

The truth is, I had some ideas about who he was. I knew his name, his nationality, that he had married my mother, that I had occasionally spoken to him when I was very young, that he lived in NY, and that he was a taxi driver. So, I wrote to the Ecuadorian embassy in NY explaining that I wanted to send a letter to my father and also requesting their help in delivering it to him. To my blessing, on May 15th, I received a call from an Ecuadorian consular member informing me that they had located my father and that he wanted to speak with me. Imagine all the emotions that came over me, I felt like an excited, hopeful little girl.

When I spoke to him, I didn't know what to say, but immediately he wished me a happy birthday (May 3rd) and a deep anger filled my heart. It means he always remembered my birthday and never intended to call me. But well, I decided not to give it much importance and get to know him, taking advantage of the fact that I would be going to the US for vacation that same May.

That meeting was a whirlwind of emotions. To discover that my father was nothing like what I had imagined, not his voice, not his face, not his gestures, and certainly not his personality, to be surprised by the news that we were 11 children in total from seven different mothers, and to understand that he had no good relationship with any of us. I can't deny that it was one of the biggest disappointments I have ever felt. How was it possible that a man who had so many opportunities was still alone? How was it possible that none of his relationships with women worked out? But for me, the worst part was, how was it possible that none of my siblings had a harmonious relationship with him? So, that night, I proposed to restart our relationship and get to know each other again, forgetting the past. I asked him to introduce me to my siblings and for all of us to try to connect.

On that trip, I met two of my little siblings, and a few days later, thanks to the benefits of social media, I managed to contact the others. We gathered a large group in September of that same year.

I confess that hearing each of their stories and how they had moved forward without our father's help touched my soul. Others, like me, had experienced his absence, and in the opposite case, he had broken their hearts. But we all agreed on one thing... we are siblings, and that has nothing to do with anything else. Thanks to my father, I stopped feeling so alone. Now I can count on my siblings and love each other unconditionally.

My father was and will never be the King that every Princess deserves. He is a stubborn, proud, and selfish man, but he is my father. I owe him my life, and thanks to his mistakes, my spirit was reinforced with courage and strength. His absence formed traits of my personality that have helped me move forward despite adversity.

My dad is a pseudo superhero, sometimes a villain. He is a strong-willed, determined, dreamy, kind, and funny man, a conqueror... I have so much to be proud of about my father that even if I wanted to, I couldn't help but love him with all my heart. Although his mistakes still affect me, I know that God wouldn't have gifted me with my dad if it wasn't for a greater purpose.

Finally, our parents will not always be what we ideally desire or need. Some have the role of teaching us through love, and others through abandonment. But that doesn't make them better or worse, they are simply the parents that God gave us.

To those of you who may not have been lucky enough to have a King or a Superhero as a father, love him because perhaps it is your love that will transform him into what he is not. And to those of you who did have a King or a Superhero, love him, value him, and respect him because there are few like him.